Humor

Man, 96, marrying sweetheart

Perth, Scotland -- A 96-year-old Scotsman says a serious illness convinced him to ask his longtime girlfriend to become his bride.

"I had three life-threatening illnesses, with which she was with me all the time, so I felt I owed her a bit more than just being my bidie-in," Bill Rodger told The Scotsman, using the Lowland Scots expression for a live-in partner.

Rodger and Liz Stewart, 78, who have been a couple for 11 years, plan to tie the knot Saturday. The guests include Rodger's six great-grandchildren.

Stewart said when Rodger proposed she had to think about it overnight. She has been a widow for 16 years.

"Bill didn't get down on one knee or propose or he'd never have got up again," Stewart said.

The Rev. Douglas Main of Errol Parish Church, where Stewart is a member of the congregation, is to do the honors at Rodger's bungalow in Cherrybank near Perth.

Woman selling, donating excess breast milk

Tiffin, Iowa -- An Iowa woman, faced with a stockpile of breast milk, has created a stir by taking out a newspaper ad to try to sell it.

Her freezer is full of milk she pumped and her 4-month-old daughter refuses to drink from a bottle, Martha Heller of Tiffin said. She took out the ad because, "I'd much rather a baby use it, because at some point we'll have to throw it away," she told The (Cedar Rapids) Gazette.

She said she tried to research law about the sale of breast milk -- but couldn't find any.

Heller also donates to the Mother's Milk Bank of Iowa, based at the University of Iowa. However, the 100 ounces she is trying to sell is what she had pumped before being screened and cleared for the milk bank.

Breast milk generally can be used up to six months if stored properly, said Linda Klein, a lactation consultant at Mercy Medical Center in Cedar Rapids. But she warned that medical conditions and medications a mother takes can be passed through breast milk.

Police swamp naked fundraisers

London -- A group of naked fundraisers in Britain drew a mammoth police presence for a walk to raise money for the Marine Conservation Society.

Ten officers, several patrol cars and a helicopter followed the 20 walkers as they marched naked for 20 miles from Swanage to Lulworth Cove in Dorset, Sky News reported Friday.

Code naming the effort Operation Thistle, police said they feared the 20 naked walkers posed a public risk.

Bernard Boase, 63, told Sky News that halfway through the walk he was asked to cover up by one of the police officers.

When he refused, police arrested Boase and charged him with harassment. The case was later dropped for lack of evidence.

© 2007 United Press International.

Carpet installers skate into new career

Irwin, Pa. -- Carpet installers in Pennsylvania turned a tool of their achy-breaky work into a fun-and-games product and an new career to boot, um skate.

Don J. Edwards and his son, Don V. Edwards, "slid into the toy industry" literally, with their invention, FunSlides Carpet Skates in 2004, the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette reported, altering the focus of their family business, Simtec Co. in Irwin, Pa.

The two invented EZ Moves Furniture Slides out of necessity -- the oval-shaped pieces of friction-resistant plastic make it easier to slide heavy furniture without scuffing wood floors and popping human discs. Then the younger Edwards added some colorful straps to that same plastic and invented FunSlides Carpet Skates, the newspaper said.

The one-size-fits-all skates are worn over sneakers and attach with a hook-and-loop closure strap. Grooves in the plastic make them safe for walking, said Candace Edwards, who wears hats for sales and marketing and is the daughter and sister to the inventors.

Dog, cat recognized for heroic efforts

New York -- Toby and Winnie were the pets of the hour during in New York, where they were honored for quick actions that saved their owners' lives.

The American Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals honored five people, canine Toby and feline Winnie. The annual awards luncheon recognizes individuals who have worked on behalf of animal welfare and animals who performed acts of heroism, the association said in a news release.

Toby did an animal version of the Heimlich maneuver to dislodge an apple choking his owner, Debbie Parkhurst, the New York Post reported Friday.

"Because of him I'm here," Parkhurst, of North East, Md., said of her 4-year-old Dog of the Year. "He's my angel in fur."

Winnie, a 14-year-old domestic shorthair, of Newcastle, Ind., was named ASPCA Cat of the Year for waking her owner as carbon-monoxide fumes filled the family's home while Cathy Keesling, her husband and 14-year-old son slept.

Cemetery sued for losing body

Miami -- The family of a Miami man who died 17 years ago is suing a Florida cemetery for losing his remains.

The body of Miguel Toledo was missing when his grave at Dade South Memorial Park was opened recently so his widow, Ondina, could be buried alongside him, The Miami Herald reports.

"They told us they opened the grave and there was nothing there -- no coffin, no remains, nothing," the Toledos' grandson, Raciel Guerra, said.

For the past 17 years, the family has been visiting Miguel Toledo's grave site on a regular basis, not knowing that his body wasn't there.

"We would bring him flowers and be with him," daughter Ondina Guerra told the Herald.

While the cemetery searches for Toledo's remains, his widow has been buried in a temporary site.

Denmark: Fewer Christmas trees cost more

Copenhagen, Denmark -- Danish Christmas tree buyers this year are paying for a soft tree market several years ago, when fewer trees were planted.

Earlier this decade the country's Christmas tree growers cut back the number of saplings they planted annually from 25 million to 10 million to counter lower prices, the Copenhagen Post reported.

Now the first of the smaller crops are mature enough to sell. Demand is high -- and prices are as well.

Denmark is Europe's largest exporter of Christmas trees. Kaj Ostergaard, the Danish Christmas Tree Growers' Association president, said the country exports 85 percent of its crop. While export prices are as much as 20 percent higher, Ostergaard said local purchasing power plays the biggest role in figuring a tree's cost.

Workers snap to it to care for gator

Mount Kisco, N.Y. -- Public works employees in a New York village had to step lively when they discovered a 3-foot alligator outside the department's garage.

Now the Mount Kisco water plant employees are stepping lively to find it a suitable home, The Journal News of White Plains, N.Y., reported.

Clues about the gator's former home were non-existent -- only a plywood crate with the warning, "Do not open. Live Gator."

Given the crate showed up at the garage on Halloween, they didn't heed to the warning. But after it hissed when someone tapped on the crate's side, the workers became believers.

"We didn't touch it because we like our fingers where they are," said Ed Sordellini, a 39-year-old machine operator.

Humane society officials say leave the care and feeding of the gator to the experts.

Trick on Halloween prankster backfires

New York -- Two New York policemen are reportedly under investigation for allegedly trying to scare a Halloween prankster by leaving him nearly naked in a remote area.

Rayshawn Moreno, 14, of Graniteville, N.Y., had been caught throwing eggs at cars on Staten Island by officers Thomas Elliassen and Michael Danese, The New York Daily News reported Friday.

The newspaper said it was told by a source that the two officers drove Moreno to a swampy area of the 122nd Precinct and had him strip down to boxer shorts and socks before leaving him.

Moreno walked to a store and had security guards call his parents.

"He is shaken up. He is scared. He is terrified," said the boy's father, James Hezel.

Hezel said he believes the two white officers picked on his son because the boy is black.

Poland recluse of 35 years dies in Britain

Warsaw, Poland -- An 87-year-old Polish veteran has died in Wolverhampton, England, where he had lived as a recluse on a street traffic island for the past 35 years.

Jozef Stawinoga, veteran of the Polish armed forces in World War II, lived in a tent on the traffic island surrounded by trees since the early 1970s, Polish Radio reported Friday.

Authorities of Wolverhampton, in west-central England, had accepted his explanation he suffered from claustrophobia since he was prisoner of war in a Nazi camp and didn't evict him from his tent.

Town’s social services were supplying Stawinoga with hot meals regularly, the radio report said.

© 2007 United Press International.

Dozens of gnomes appear at Oregon home

Springfield, Ore. -- Police are searching for the pranksters who artfully placed 75 figurines of gnomes and animals on the front lawn of a house in Springfield, Ore.

Authorities said they believe the ornaments were stolen from nearby homes at various times, KPTV in Springfield reported Friday.

Photographs of the ornaments have been placed on the police department's Web site in hopes of reuniting them with their rightful owners.

In the meantime, the 75 gnomes and animals have taken up residence at the police station.

© 2007 United Press International.

Girl loses hair after tight braiding

Pontefract, England -- An 8-year-old British girl whose hair fell out after it was braided tightly hasn't grown any of the hair back after more than a year.

Jodie Holdsworth’s parents said her hair began to fall out when she removed the braids four days after they were put in during a vacation in Greece, The Times of London reported Friday.

“She was due to have her school photograph taken four days later so we thought it better to remove the braids," the girl's mother, Lisa Smalley, said. "The braids were just coming away from her scalp. When she went for a shower her hair literally just came sliding off her scalp. We were all in shock. She was left with a bald circle on top of her head.”

“The doctors there said the braids were too tight and had killed the hair but it would grow back,” she told The Times.