Humor

Shhh! School lunchtime may be quiet time

Rocky Point, N.Y. -- A New York middle school's use of a stoplight-type signal to warn students to use their inside voices while eating is being questioned by some parents.

Rocky Point parents wonder whether Joseph A. Edgar Intermediate School officials have gone too far in trying to maintain healthy noise levels during lunch with a signal that changes from green to yellow to red as the decibel levels rise, Newsday reported Friday. Students were warned they could lose recess time if the light turns red.

After meeting with parents, though, Rocky Point District Superintendent Carla D'Ambrosio said she would re-examine -- but not abandon -- use of the school's Talk Light, a move that disappointed some parents, the New York newspaper reported.

"I think it's not healthy for kids to be under that kind of stress while they're eating," said Denise Nagy, who has a child attending Edgar. "Now you've got the kids like Pavlovian dogs, watching this light."

Church steeple dotted with bullet holes

Mcminnville, Tenn. -- A church steeple in Tennessee was more than holy; it was hole-y from 67 bullet holes contractors found during renovations.

"After we found the first couple, I thought it was funny but then we saw so many I started counting. We caulked up 67 holes," Dennis Dockum, a worker on the antebellum First Presbyterian Church steeple project, told the Southern Standard in McMinnville, Tenn.

Speculation about how the steeple in McMinnville became so riddled includes pigeon-shooting over the years and post-Civil War rowdyism, the newspaper said.

© 2007 United Press International.

Transgender MP can't be wedding witness

Foggia, Italy -- Italy's first transgender member of parliament is crying foul after being prohibited from standing up at a cousin's wedding as a witness.

"It's an outrage," said Vladimir Luxuria, a 42-year-old former drag queen. "This just goes to show how out-of-touch the Church is with the wider Catholic community, which is increasingly open and tolerant."

Luxuria, born Wladimiro Guadagno, said she considers herself neither male nor female but prefers feminine pronouns and references, the Italian news agency ANSA reported.

Luxuria said she didn't think the ban was legitimate, because rules governing wedding witness do not mention people's gender. Witnesses who are the best man or maid of honor sign the wedding certificate.

The bishop's office in the city of Foggia confirmed Luxuria was banned, but did not offer an explanation, ANSA said.

Kelly gang gun to be auctioned

Melbourne -- A handgun belonging to the sister of notorious Australian bushranger Ned Kelly is going under the hammer in Melbourne.

Kate Kelly was a member of the five-person gang led by her brother, which was involved in a string of robberies in eastern Australia in the 19th century. Ned Kelly was finally captured and hanged in Melbourne in 1880 at age 25.

The revolver with the initials "K.K." was found in the former home of the Kelly family just a few years ago.

The Australian Broadcasting Corp. reported the gun is up for sale at a Melbourne auction house next week. Auction director Paul Sumner said the revolver was a "rare and exciting find."

"In America, it would be equivalent to finding Jesse James' gun," he said.

Mayor re-elected as write-in candidate

Auburn, Maine -- When John Jenkins was re-elected mayor of Auburn, Maine, he became the first person in the city's history to win a citywide election as a write-in candidate.

Jenkins not only won, he smoked the competition: Jenkins collected more than 2,100 votes while his nearest competitor received just over 1,300and the third-place finisher garnered just over 500 tallies, the Lewiston (Maine) Sun Journal reported Wednesday.

Jenkins did little campaigning until the final days of the election.

"I didn’t paint a sign," he said, explaining his supporters did all the work.

"This is a victory for the citizens," he said. "I happen to be the person who was brought along by the everyday people."

© 2007 United Press International.

Mix-up sends wrong child to wrong house

Jacksonville, Fla. -- A mix-up in the pickup of a Florida man's 4-year-old grandson from a Jacksonville pre-school created an awkward and tense situation.

Long Branch Elementary School pre-kindergarten student Zacari was safe at home with his family Wednesday, a day after he was mistakenly taken to the home of a different family, WJXT-TV, Jacksonville, reported Wednesday.

A grandfather went to the school to pick up his grandchild and wound up putting Zacari on his bike and rode home.

"We were riding a bicycle, and he had to pick me up and put me in the middle," Zacari said.

When they arrived at the man's home, his wife recognized the boy wasn't her grandchild.

Meanwhile, Zacari's aunt had arrived to pick up the boy and panicked to learn her nephew was already gone.

Shirt pockets a pox in men's fashion

London -- Men's fashion, it seems, is choosing style over convenience as shoppers report shirts with breast pockets are disappearing from British clothing stores.

Tailors claimed pockets ruin the line of the shirt, The Times of London reported.

Adam Barton, of Marks & Spencer, said 90 percent of the shirts the British retailer sold a decade ago had pockets; now it's closer to 25 percent.

Not everyone is happy about the fashion trend, however.

John Wales, a retired doctor from Appleton Roebuck, told Time Times he's outraged at the trend.

“When you get to a certain age, you want comfort rather than fashion," he said. "Where are men supposed to put things?”

© 2007 United Press International.

German tower has the angle on Pisa

Suurhusen, Germany -- The slant of a German church steeple has knocked the better known leaning tower of Pisa in Italy from the Guinness record book as the most tilted building.

Guinness Book of Records officials Tuesday alerted applicants that, yes, the church tower in Suurhusen in northern Germany had beaten the famous Pisa landmark, The Daily Telegraph reported.

The church tower leans at a 5.19 degree pitch, while the Pisa tower tilts 3.97 degrees, Guinness officials ruled.

The church was built in the mid-13th century but a 90-foot tower was added in 1450. The tower, built on wooden foundations, slowly listed to one side over the years because of the combination of the oak wood foundations and wet soil, the British newspaper said. Several attempts to stop the tower from leaning any further have been made since 1982, and it was eventually stabilized in 1996.

Feud over garden trellis may be over

Manchester, England -- A year-long dispute between two neighbors in Britain over a trellis may be ending now that one neighbor has a restraining order against another.

Among other things, Ann Taylor tossed snails and slugs into her neighbor's garden in the Manchester area after her neighbors, Tom and Nita Window, objected to Taylor's trellis being attached to their fence, The Daily Mail reported Tuesday.

But now Taylor could be jailed if she violates a restraining order barring her from contacting the Windows. She also was ordered to pay $500 after being convicted of harassment and criminal damage.

"The only thing we were ever guilty of was saying we didn't want (her) trellis on our fence," Nita Window said.

Taylor has since moved from the area.

© 2007 United Press International.

San Diego tries ban on beach booze

San Diego -- The San Diego City Council has approved a one-year ban on drinking at public beaches and in coastal parks.

Many residents who like to watch the sun set into the Pacific while sipping wine oppose the ban. But council members were inspired to act by a fracas on Labor Day between beer drinking college students and police, The San Diego Union-Tribune reported.

Councilwoman Donna Frye said San Diego's image is now as "the place to come and get drunk."

During a four-hour debate on the bill Monday night, one pro-ban group showed videotape of a "beer luge" -- beer poured down an ice block and into the throats of waiting students -- and of students with hoses in their mouths.

"This is not a good picture for our community," Frye said.

Rock hound almost misses diamond find

Murfreesboro, Ark. -- A rock hound said he's found about 80 diamonds at an Arkansas state park since he moved to the state but he almost missed his biggest find -- a 4.38-carat gem.

Chad Johnson, who moved to Murfreesboro, Ark., in February, stowed his equipment after sifting for diamonds at Crater of Diamonds State Park during the weekend, so he didn't notice the cube-shaped rock until Monday, Fort Smith, Ark., television station KHBS reported.

What he plucked from his sifters was a 4.38-carat, tea-colored diamond, the second-largest gem uncovered at the park this year. In June, a Louisiana man found a 4.8-carat diamond.

The park is the world's only diamond-producing site open to the public and visitors can keep the gems they find.

The largest was the 16.37-carat Amarillo Starlight, a white diamond found by a Texas visitor in 1975.

Little boy stumbles on big mammoth tooth

St. Joseph Ridge, Wis. -- To find a woolly mammoth tooth once in a lifetime could be considered lucky, but a man in Wisconsin has done it twice.

In 1998, Gary Kidd unearthed a mammoth tooth from the bottom of the Mississippi River while clamming and thought it was a fossilized clam shell, the La Crosse (Wis.) Tribune reported. The Mississippi Valley Archaeology Center set him right about his find -- a water-soaked woolly mammoth that had fallen apart.

That knowledge helped him identify what his 3-year-old grandson found in a field near St. Joseph Ridge. They took the find to the archaeology center at the University of Wisconsin-La Crosse, which confirmed it was a woolly mammoth tooth.

Connie Arzigian, laboratory director at the center, estimated the fossil could be from 10,000 to 30,000 years old.