Humor

Contempt of Court: US Chief Judge caught posting on explicit site

A serious bit of misjudgment on the part of California federal appeals court Chief Judge, Alex Kozinski, has left him red in the face. Kozinski, who came to be chosen as a member of the United States Court of Appeals for the Ninth Circuit by US President Ronald Reagan himself, was accused of having personally contributed to an explicit web site, featuring materials that may comfortably be called pornographic.

Delay In Trial Results Puts Companies In The Dock

Merck and Schering-Plough, the companies that make the drugs Vytorin and Zetia, have been found to deliberately delay the results of the trial of these drugs for the past two years.

Engagement ring headed back home

St. Augustine, Fla. -- A woman's engagement ring was found after being lost 300 miles from her Florida home.

On her way back from New Jersey, Amanda Goguen of St. Augustine, Fla. took the ring off at a North Carolina rest stop as she was changing her 6-month-old son's diaper, WJXT-TV, Jacksonville, Fla. Reported Tuesday.

After realizing it was missing, she searched their car, even pulling up the carpeting on the floor. She assumed her ring was gone for good. Then she decided to call the Cracker Barrel restaurant in Santee, S.C., where they stopped to eat before she realized her ring was missing.

Goguen said she called and described her ring.

"She's like, 'Oh yeah, we have one of those here.' And I was like, you got to be kidding to me, and I started crying," Goguen said.

Kid hits button, foams airport hangar

Philadelphia -- A curious kid just couldn't resist temptation and hit an emergency button that triggered a sea of fire suppression foam at a Philadelphia airport hangar.

The expanse of white foam not only filled the hangar Saturday but it spilled out onto the tarmac where the wind blew puffs of it into the air like a snow storm.
The incident at Northeast Airport occurred during Agusta Aerospace's family day outing. Authorities said an employee's child hit a button that said "Don't hit button unless in an emergency" WPVI-TV in Philadelphia reported.

The Philadelphia Fire Department was called out to to clean up the mess. There was no word on any damage to the helicopter inside the hangar.

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Copyright 2007 by United Press International.

Assistant says queen is funny, great mimic

London -- The Queen of England has a wicked sense of humor and is spot-on when it comes to imitating accents, the monarch's personal assistant has revealed.

Liverpool-born aide Angela Kelly told The Sunday Telegraph in a Palace-sanctioned interview: "I love the queen and everything about her. I adore her, then so does everyone. I do worry about her and care about her. But we also have a lot of fun together. The queen has a wicked sense of humor and is a great mimic. She can do all accents, including mine."

Kelly, who has worked for the queen since 1993, heads a team of four dressers and is charged with the task of ensuring that "when the queen meets people, she looks right."

"I would never overstep the mark and I remain in awe of the queen. But she has allowed me to become closer to her over the years," Kelly explained, adding she would never attempt to discuss affairs of state with the monarch.

Popcorn shop reopens

Chicago -- The aroma of freshly popped popcorn has returned to a Chicago shop.

Fire crews were called to the Garrett Popcorn Shop Friday after its popcorn machine malfunctioned and thick smoke engulfed the store, the Chicago Tribune reported Sunday.

Crews thought initially a popcorn machine exploded and caught fire, but Fire Department spokeswoman Eve Rodriguez said there wasn't a fire, but a lot of smoke, the newspaper reported.

A female employee in her 20s was taken to a nearby hospital with minor smoke inhalation. No other injuries were reported.

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Copyright 2007 by United Press International.

Historic whiskey comes at a high cost

New York -- The first auction held in New York since Prohibition came with one eye-popping sale, a 1926 bottle of whiskey that sold for $56,000.

Along with the incredibly costly bottle of whiskey, which was distilled in 1926, a bottle of straight rye whiskey was auctioned off by Christie's auction house for $6,000, the New York Daily News said Sunday.

The second and less expensive bottle had been made in 2003, but was based on a historic recipe from former U.S. President George Washington.

Justin Christoph, who serves as the auction house's wine and spirit expert, said that the only person privy to the secret recipe was the first U.S. president's wife, Martha.

"It's an old recipe," Christoph said. "Only Martha (Washington) knew the whole recipe."

Rolls Royce? Rolex? Rent it!

New York -- Extreme luxury once limited to the elite rich is showing up on soccer moms across the United States as the option to rent designer goods increases.

From Vera Wang pendants to Chanel pouchettes, holiday regalia this year may make people wonder what's under the tree this year as high-end retail items make their way to the every day person for a few bucks a day, The Washington Post said Saturday.

Handbags, jewels, fast cars and private jets are offered by several companies renting them to people wanting the high life without the high price.

Designer brands cater to stores such as Target and Kohl's to bring high-class to the masses, but consumers increasingly want the real deal.

One entrepreneur with an upstart rental site offering lavish homes for weekly rentals said the move is becoming increasingly appealing.

Christmas tree prices up in Britain

London -- A short supply of Christmas trees for export from Denmark means British families are paying higher prices for trees this year.

The Nordmann tree from Denmark is the most popular in Britain, The Daily Mail reports. Prices this weekend are running as high as $86, up from about $70 last year.

The problem is that a few years ago too many Danish farmers were growing Christmas trees, causing a price crash. Many switched to other crops, a move that was encouraged by changes in EU subsidies in 2005.
Only 500,000 trees were shipped from Denmark to Britain this year, one-third the number shipped in past years.

While the high prices are bringing more farmers back to Christmas trees in both Denmark and Britain, Nordmann trees need 10 years to grow 6 feet tall. Kaj Ustergaard of the Danish Christmas Tree Growers Association called the Nordmann the "Rolls Royce of Christmas trees," saying it is prized for its long needles and its dark-green color.

Three Indian sisters marry servant

Ranipur, India -- One by one over the past four years, three educated sisters in India have wed their servant, believing he is holy and will miraculously bring them wealth.

Sobha Patel, 25, who holds a masters degree in history, her sister, Pinky, 23, who holds a bachelor's degree, and Rina, 18, who passed her "plus II," married Kishan Soni, 32, their illiterate employee, believing him to be an incarnation of Krishna, The Telegraph reported Saturday. All three women are from Ranipur, on the outskirts of Chitrakoot, the Calcutta newspaper said.

"We are married to a modern god and all of us want children by him. Why should that bother outsiders? This is our private matter," Sobha told The Telegraph.

The sisters' father, wealthy farmer-businessman Santosh Singh Patel, 62, agrees his son-in-law is Lord Krishna. The father says if the third marriage doesn't bring the treasure chest Kishan foretold, he is prepared to marry off his two remaining daughters, now 14 and 15, to him, even though the fortune teller's tale has changed over time.

British wines new industry favorites

London -- Sales of British wines are up dramatically this year, prompting one retail chain to predict they may be a significant holiday favorite.

Employees of the retail chain Waitrose said holiday revelers this year may put down the French champagne and reach for a nice bottle of British sparking wine instead, Sky News reported Saturday.

"English wines used to be regarded as the Cinderallas of the wine world -- but now they are taking center stage and deservedly so," Waitrose Master of Wine Justin Howard-Sneyd said.

"It certainly looks as though many of our customers will be toasting Christmas with a glass of English fizz."

The retail chain reported a 120 percent increase this year in the sales of all British wines and in November, those sales increased 360 percent from week to week.

Man sentenced for carrot in his pants

Marske By-The-Sea, England -- A British driving instructor who secreted a carrot in his pants to give female students the idea he was sexually aroused was sentenced to 18 months in jail.

Stephen Cooney, 51, was accused of sexually assaulting three female students during their driving lessons. One woman testified that he grabbed her hand and forced her to touch him before unzipping his fly and revealing the vegetable, The Daily Telegraph reported Friday.

Cooney denied placing the woman's hand on his groin but admitted hiding the vegetable in his pocket.

Cooney, of Marske by-the-Sea, told the court he regretted the carrot incident, which he admitted was "unprofessional."

"I just thought maybe I would play a practical joke, but obviously it was stupid," he said.