Parents should act as unit for upset child

Urbana, Ill. -- When a young child experiences negative emotions -- anger, anxiety or distress -- parents reacting in different ways is beneficial, a U.S. study finds.

The University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign study suggests when a young child is angry, sad or frustrated, the best scenario seems to be if one parent comforts and problem-solves with the child while the other parent hangs back a bit and gives the child space to process what he’s feeling.

"We’re hypothesizing that if both parents rush in to help the child, the child doesn’t have a chance to experience negative feelings and learn how to manage them," study leader Nancy McElwain says in a release.

In two studies, the research, published in Child Development, indicates children exhibited higher emotional understanding and less conflict with friends when one parent reported high support while the other parent reported low support. In most situations, children fared similarly regardless of which parent took on which role. However, in some cases, children had better outcomes when fathers, in particular, reported high support and mothers reported low support, McElwain says.

Couples should think about how they respond to a young child’s anger, anxiety or frustration as a parental unit, not as individuals, McElwain said.

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